The Bold and the Beautiful

Maybe I should have titled this post; Beauty and the Beast, because that's the kind of week I've had. I've had an absolutely fabulous week business-wise and have also met some great local etsians; I never thought when I started my silly soap-making plan that I would have actually succeeded at it; I really feel lucky and blessed. I've also gotten to know people I never would've had the opportunity to meet otherwise; I'm making friendships that I know will last a lifetime.

I think I'll address the "Beast" part, before I go back to the loveliness embodied in this picture. This week was a very rough week; family wise. Not my little brood at home, but extended family. I have a very large, opinionated family; and have sometimes felt like the outsider, because I'm one of the few...actually the only, one who believes in God and is religious. And for some other reasons, but that's the primary one. It doesn't bother me at all for someone to be an atheist, why would it? I often laugh when people are upset at someone for not doing something; like, "I am insane with anger because you didn't go to the movies!". I'm always painstakingly careful not to bring up God or religion, or the fact that we are not vegetarians, because I don't want to insult my family's lifestyle (or anyone's). I'm not one of those preachy types; and I'm sure people who know me even fairly well are kept guessing about the more controversial points of my life. But many of my family members openly disdain everything that makes me..me. I've dealt with my share of outrage about the number of children I choose to have, or us not celebrating holidays, or the fact that our house is too small or that I never went to college. Or the names of my children; yes; several family members made it very clear that they viewed my choice of names for my wonderful boys to be practically criminal. Their names are, by the way: Andrew, Bentley, Callan, Dorian, and Elvis. And they are beautiful, meaningful names! Ok, off my soapbox about that. I have somehow, despite my caution, managed to convey the impression that I have a problem with people who are vegetarians; I honestly cannot imagine how that happened. It was really hearbreaking for me to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I was never going to be acceptable to my extended family, and for my own well-being and sanity; it's necessary for me to disconnect from them. I've been through a lot with my siblings, we've come through some bad stuff together, but even with them, I seem to be constantly offending and offensive; and this while I'm putting a great deal of effort into not doing so. I've apologized, backtracked, soothed ruffled feathers....and finally snapped. I'm not proud of it, but I managed to be quite snarky and rude to many of them. So be it. We just don't bring out the best in each other, and that's why it's best to take a break from them. All of this has a point, it really does! So after dealing with all the yucky family stuff yesterday, I came home today to the most wonderful present. The perfume I had custom blended for me by Stacy at Mermaid Lane Perfume. It was like a soothing voice in a room full of shouting; when I opened the box, I actually cried. For a time when I was feeling very battered emotionally, the thought that someone put so much care and love into something for me was beyond words. She also included a very welcome extra

A wonderful bottle of her body/massage oil; with the most awesome scent; rose and lavender; my favorite! I had told her our anniversary was coming up, and this was her gift to us. So kind! I also just had to take a picture of the perfume bottle and it's lovely satin pouch; so beautiful! Such a precious little bottle, I feel like it contains my essence, who I am. I know I will treasure it for years to come. Being a mama with so many boys, I have very few things which are just mine and it is so very important to have that to hold onto, so that I don't become so immersed in them that I lose who I am.

So this week, I was bold, not so beautiful, and then beautiful again. I'm sorry for such a melancholy post; it's really not characteristic of me; perhaps the late hours and the family issues have taken their toll on me. But as they say it's hard to keep a good (bad?) woman down; I'm sure if I get a good night's sleep...if...if...if...I'll be back to my annoyingly energetic self!

Wednesday already! Have a great rest of the Wednesday; and a great Thursday!