The Boys Of Summer

Today is the official last day of summer. School will be starting tomorrow; and while I'm sure in time it will seem bittersweet to me; I have to say that today seems bitter right now. I remember that first day of summer; when school let out and I was finally able to leave the school with my boys; we walked into the sunshine and felt free. We didn't have to hurry; we didn't have anywhere we needed to be; it was just us against the world.

Those first few weeks were an adjustment for us all; it was hard to have no schedule; for me as well. I remember thinking to myself, "Enjoy this! It won't last!". I truly tried to enjoy it; but this summer I found myself busy and distracted much of the time; having my own business and being a new work at home mom was challenging at times. We had plenty of downtime, though; or at least the boys did. They rode bikes; played in the yard; asked for Popsicles; and had a good time.

As June turned into July we finally got some hot weather; and I started taking more time off; it didn't seem fair to work the summer away; and so I planned some fun adventures for us. I reveled in having my boys to myself; and having the freedom to go where we wanted to go; although looking back I wish I had taken that opportunity more often.

When August began; I felt a sense of foreboding; it's truly my least favorite month of the year; my birthday falls at the end of August; and it has always seemed a sad time of endings to me. I stepped up my efforts to simply "be" with my boys; and knew that I would soon be counting down the days until the summer was over. Now it's August 29th; my 31st birthday and the day before my boys leave me again; and I'm reflecting on the year that summer finally began to have meaning for me. It was 2005; my 25th birthday; and my oldest boy Andrew was starting kindergarten. Up until then; I had simply gone with the seasons as everyone without children in school does; never feeling any particular difference from school starting. I was 7 months pregnant with Callan; and had a 2 year old Bentley besides; I remember taking that first school picture of Andrew's and knowing that life was about to change. Now; 6 years later; Callie is starting kindergarten and my Andrew is going off to the big unknown of Middle School; I can hardly believe it. I know that I will be an emotional wreck inside as he goes off by himself to the bus stop; but I will have to bear it somehow.

And then later; I'll be sending my Callan off to be a big boy. Since his birthday is in November; I truly felt that I had an extra year with him; and it's making it even harder for me to give him up to a teacher. Somehow; Dorian; Elvis and I will have to muddle through our day without our boys! Now all that's left is to make a few more memories before school; we're having our long-awaited "bee party" and I hope I will manage to keep a dry eye for at least part of the day.

I've always felt the changing of the seasons acutely; and remember feeling a sense of loss as the last days of summer slipped away; and this has only been made more significant by having my own boys. I know that there are many more great days to be had before Winter takes hold; and I'm hoping to gain this perspective in the weeks to come. I must say; dealing with being solidly established in my 30's as of today is making it difficult for me to see anything positive about this time of the year!

Summer, don't go!

Summertime....and the Livin' is Easy.......

The picture is one I found of downtown Boise; I love our downtown, it always reminds me of Main Street in Disneyland; it's clean and relatively safe; great for strolling around looking at shops or just enjoying the great weather. I had a rare opportunity to do that yesterday; after I dropped off my boys at the zoo with my mom; I found a nail salon and treated myself to a great spa pedi; which is a completely frivolous treat, that I don't get very often. Then, since I had my car safely, and non-parallel parked in a garage; I walked around for a while downtown; strolling the fabulous weather; all by myself. It felt odd not to be holding hands and attempting to keep children from running into the street; and while I wished that James had the same opportunity for "me" time; I truly enjoyed. it.
 
I've been so enjoying having my boys home from school! I didn't realize how much time was being taken up with school drop-off and pickup; It was almost 2 hours a day! Now; when I am working late at night, I don't have to worry about being up; dressed, makeuped and out the door with 5 boys by 8:45; I can wake up with my boys and have a relaxing morning. Often we don't get dressed until 10 am; or later. Even now; at 8:40; I'm sitting here at my computer with my giant cup of coffee; and my boys; still in jammies, are playing or watching TV.

Another thing that has helped on the soap front; is that James purchased two sets of industrial shelving units and spent Sunday cleaning and rearranging the garage. Before; my supplies were spread out between the living room, the kitchen, and the garage for my non-child safe equipment; lye, and oils; and empty bottles and jars; and it was really hard to find anything. Now I even have a little workbench that allows me to measure and weigh my oils and ingredients; without having to lug 35 pound bottles of oil into the house; along with all my equipment. I still need my kitchen for my CPOP soap; but I can actually make my hot process soap on my workbench, since I have an electrical outlet for my crockpot. Here's how it looks:

 It's been really nice to finally have a separate spot; I can only store my finished soaps out there for part of the year; I don't want them to either freeze or melt; but right now the temperature is perfect, so it's really like having an extension of my too-tiny house; and has freed me up a lot. James has even noticed that the house is looking nicer when he comes home; because I have more time and also more space.

I'm looking forward to the next few months as being a bit of a breather for me; although I'm still staying busy with my etsy shop and my in-person sales; having my boys at home has really changed my focus; and  now I'm not so consumed by my business. I hope that something that I can keep up even when school starts again.

I hope you are all having a great, sunshiny summer!

Stand in the Sunshine of Possibility

This week we had our first fifth grade promotion; it seems such a huge milestone; my Andrew is moving from Elementary School to the big, bad Middle School in the fall; I can't believe it! It seems like yesterday he was entering Kindergarten; actually it was almost six years ago; in 2005. The first day of school I was so sad that he was so grown up! I was also about 7 months pregnant with Callan; and only had a two-year-old Bentley to keep me company! What a simple time it seems when I look back at it! Funny how I remember feeling busy and overwhelmed; it seems that mothers handle what they need to handle, no matter what; as I've had more children and become even more busy; I seem to have absorbed all the extra work; when you'd think I'd have no time or energy left!

Andrew's teacher this year was a great one; who challenged him a lot; he was a 30 year veteran of teaching; who decided halfway through the year that this would be his last year of teaching; so the last day of school had special significance for him and for the children. After handing out "diplomas" to his class; he gave a short speech; where he talked about watching Oprah's last show; which I confess I missed. He said she talked about the "Sunshine of Possibility"; about how important it is to live the life you would live if there were no practical considerations or barriers to it. He said that he felt that that was what he had done; teaching children for all these years; and it got me thinking about the sunshine of my possibility.

When I stop to think about how I would live my life if there were no practical barriers; no consideration for what I think I can't do; I imagine it being very much like my life actually is. Sure; perhaps in my dream life; there would be a bigger house; perhaps I would never need to worry about money; but the basics are the same. I would still be a mother; with the number of children I have now; having had them the way I did; and staying home with them just as I have been for the last 11 years. I think that I would be doing much the same things in my spare time as well; soapmaking; sewing, reading when I got the chance. I would still cook dinner every night; still have movie afternoons and breakfast picnics. I would probably still be too busy; too tired, and get cranky at times. I would still have babies all over my lap; embarrass my big boys and constantly yell, with no results; especially; "Get your shoes on and get in the car, we're late!".

I would probably still cry at every first day of school and last day; and never know what to make for dinner. I'd still cloth diaper and consign; and buy used DVD's and cheap paperbacks. I'd probably have a nicer espresso machine; and hopefully someone to do the laundry; but I'd still decorate and clean my own house; just not the kitchen! Maybe I'd have a better bod....but probably not; because I'd hate to waste any more of my life worrying about that! .Maybe I'd get a tummy tuck, but then again; I wouldn't because I don't believe in risking my life for vanity.  I guess I'd still be me; and it's interesting to explore the things that wouldn't change, no matter what my circumstances. It's good sometimes to 'Stand in the Sunshine of Possibility", it's a good life check; to make sure your life is on the right track. I'm pleasantly surprised that despite not having ideal circumstances much of the time; I still managed to blunder my way into the possibility I would choose even if life were perfect!

What's your sunshine of possibility; and how have you achieved; or not achieved it?

Hello Blogging, My Old Friend.....

I feel like I'm in a perpetual state of catching-upness lately; and I have felt too frazzled to compose a logical and entertaining blog post! I'm so surprised I even have followers left; and have gained a few...welcome!

So many things I'm juggling right now; I took the plunge and obtained my own booth space for my Farmers' Market; and had my first day on my own on Saturday. It wasn't the greatest day I've ever had; but I think it was because I had moved locations; and was exceedingly unprepared with no tent in the blazing sun! I have lots of lofty plans for my booth; I want to create a station with running water in a sink so my customers can try my soaps and scrubs; but the logistics are proving to be complicated, to say the least! I was so lucky that the Market Manager was extremely receptive to my crazy ideas; and is planning to try to get me near a water spigot; which would be exciting!

I also had my first experience selling in Downtown Boise, which around here; is the biggest show in town! I had an opportunity to do so with Idaho Indie Works, who has a store in Downtown Boise; and offered spaces for vendors during First Thursday; which is a seasonal, monthly street fair and event. I felt so "fancy" being downtown with all the hustle and bustle, and got to introduce my products to a whole new crowd of people, it was great! I had a lot of fun with my "neighbors", including a fabulous fine artist; some lovely jewelry makers; and a glass artist; among others. I acquired a set of gorgeous art glass-topped hairpins and a tie dye onesie through trading; and love them!

Goodness...it's uncharacteristic of me to wax poetic about my business; I guess it's just because it's what's on my mind; although there's a lot going on in my "real" life as well. My boys will be home for the summer starting Thursday; and I was getting very misty while doing my weekly grocery shopping; because I was buying things with a view to summer lunches and picnics; I really do love the summer; but each time summer comes; it's bittersweet; because it means another year has passed; and my boys are yet another year older. Ahhh, how sad and sweet it can be to be a parent!

Elvis just turned 11 months; I can't believe we've had him for nearly a year! On the other hand; my pregnancy seems like a long-distant memory; and I look back at that time with a tinge of sadness; because it seems like such a simpler time; although I didn't think so then!

 

This somewhat blurry video shows my adorable Elvis; he just learned to "snap" his fingers and was doing it up a storm...until the camera came out! It's still a great video and he snaps for half a second; don't blink or you'll miss it! 

Oh...I suppose I should explain my picture.....no, I'm not pregnant; and have no immediate plans to become pregnant; but I love vintage maternity fashion; and have always wanted to own a vintage maternity pattern. I found a great one from my friend Maggie at Vintage Core Patterns and couldn't resist! I may make them up just for fun...or for possible future use...or to sell, who knows! All I know is that I love this style of Maternity wear; and if I ever decide to take the plunge again; this is what I'll be sporting! 

Have a great, Summer-y week!