"God Grant me the Serenity...."

 

"....to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference. 

Dear readers! What a few months it has been! I hardly know where to begin except with the obvious; which is that I've had a really rough few months. Unfortunately, I seem to have developed frequent and persistent migraines, which has been a shock, and a great source of stress for me. I've learned to depend on myself being healthy, and always brimming with energy; and this disorder has taken me down a peg; in fact; it's taken me down all the pegs; and I'm learning how to adapt. I've tried not to dwell on the "why me's"; knowing that so many other people are dealing with things that are far more dire; but I do have moments where I wonder why this has befallen me at this point in my life. I now cannot push myself; because even one late night triggers migraines; so I'm learning to let things go and not be so hard on myself. I am not Superwoman, despite evidence to the contrary, and I'm learning to pace myself. I've had a lot of moments of feeling useless lately; and it's something I never thought I'd need to grapple with. I've realized that I am NOT in charge, and I don't know what the future will bring. I always say that human beings have an endless capacity for adapting to any circumstance; and although I don't want to have to deal with this, I have certainly learned to adapt as well as I can. 

My new hairdo is courtesy of a very vivid dream; which I had during one of my most severe migraines; in which I dreamed that I was supposed to have a 1930's style bobbed haircut...as soon as I was up out of bed, still fuzzy from the migraine, I cut my hair with my sewing scissors! Not something I would recommend, but it made sense to me at the time! I think I really just wanted to do something drastic, like a Medieval warrior preparing for battle; and a battle it has been. 


In the midst of all these life-changes; my children have started school, which means I'm on the go go all day. I don't have a minute to spare most of the time, and I've taken steps to simplify my routine that have been absolutely essential in keeping on schedule. I will be sharing these updates, shortcuts, and new easy fashions in the weeks to come; I have neglected my blog all summer, and it's about time to get on the ball. 


The first exciting thing of the fall I have to look forward to is an upcoming weekend trip with James to a historical inn a few hours from our house. It's the first time we've ever gone away overnight without our children, and we are really looking forward to this long-overdue trip! I hope to have a relaxing time which my boys spend time with their aunts and uncle. 


It's a new day, Happy Monday and Happy Autumn!

Stand in the Sunshine of Possibility

This week we had our first fifth grade promotion; it seems such a huge milestone; my Andrew is moving from Elementary School to the big, bad Middle School in the fall; I can't believe it! It seems like yesterday he was entering Kindergarten; actually it was almost six years ago; in 2005. The first day of school I was so sad that he was so grown up! I was also about 7 months pregnant with Callan; and only had a two-year-old Bentley to keep me company! What a simple time it seems when I look back at it! Funny how I remember feeling busy and overwhelmed; it seems that mothers handle what they need to handle, no matter what; as I've had more children and become even more busy; I seem to have absorbed all the extra work; when you'd think I'd have no time or energy left!

Andrew's teacher this year was a great one; who challenged him a lot; he was a 30 year veteran of teaching; who decided halfway through the year that this would be his last year of teaching; so the last day of school had special significance for him and for the children. After handing out "diplomas" to his class; he gave a short speech; where he talked about watching Oprah's last show; which I confess I missed. He said she talked about the "Sunshine of Possibility"; about how important it is to live the life you would live if there were no practical considerations or barriers to it. He said that he felt that that was what he had done; teaching children for all these years; and it got me thinking about the sunshine of my possibility.

When I stop to think about how I would live my life if there were no practical barriers; no consideration for what I think I can't do; I imagine it being very much like my life actually is. Sure; perhaps in my dream life; there would be a bigger house; perhaps I would never need to worry about money; but the basics are the same. I would still be a mother; with the number of children I have now; having had them the way I did; and staying home with them just as I have been for the last 11 years. I think that I would be doing much the same things in my spare time as well; soapmaking; sewing, reading when I got the chance. I would still cook dinner every night; still have movie afternoons and breakfast picnics. I would probably still be too busy; too tired, and get cranky at times. I would still have babies all over my lap; embarrass my big boys and constantly yell, with no results; especially; "Get your shoes on and get in the car, we're late!".

I would probably still cry at every first day of school and last day; and never know what to make for dinner. I'd still cloth diaper and consign; and buy used DVD's and cheap paperbacks. I'd probably have a nicer espresso machine; and hopefully someone to do the laundry; but I'd still decorate and clean my own house; just not the kitchen! Maybe I'd have a better bod....but probably not; because I'd hate to waste any more of my life worrying about that! .Maybe I'd get a tummy tuck, but then again; I wouldn't because I don't believe in risking my life for vanity.  I guess I'd still be me; and it's interesting to explore the things that wouldn't change, no matter what my circumstances. It's good sometimes to 'Stand in the Sunshine of Possibility", it's a good life check; to make sure your life is on the right track. I'm pleasantly surprised that despite not having ideal circumstances much of the time; I still managed to blunder my way into the possibility I would choose even if life were perfect!

What's your sunshine of possibility; and how have you achieved; or not achieved it?

How Lucky Can One Girl Be?

Elvis encountering grass for the first time!

I am beginning to learn that it is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all." ~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

Spring is here! I woke up this morning and felt that surely nothing bad can happen when spring is new and the sun is shining. I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately; I think because lately I've felt so fortunate; especially when we were able to spend 10 uninterrupted days of family time while on vacation. It is so rare that we are really able to enjoy each other's company, without worrying about schedules and work and school. 

It is so easy (and I'm often guilty of this) to focus on the little problems and annoyances in life; where the mere fact that we are alive and able to have annoyances should be enough! A year ago in January, while I was 4 months pregnant with Elvis; James had a life threatening reaction to penicillin, and went into anaphylactic shock. He went to the doctor with hives and body aches, and before we knew what was happening, was hospitalized; with an abnormally elevated heart rate and blood pressure, and chest pain. I sat by his side all night, while he was barely conscious, and the doctors were trying to figure out what was going on, since it was a very bad reaction, worse than they had ever seen. His poor heart was going at almost 200 beats per minute, even while he was sleeping, and his kidneys were not happy. I finally left the hospital at 4 am; after being given the not terribly reassuring "he's stable right now; go home and rest" from the doctor. I had to consider the possibility of losing my husband while pregnant with our fifth child. It was so odd; James has always been my rock during times where I was weak; beginning with my bout with a terrible flu and tonsillitis while we were dating, up to the miscarriage I had eight years ago, and even the happier times when I was more vulnerable than usual, like during my pregnancies and births. He is one of those people that is rarely sick; and I had never seen him in that role, being vulnerable physically, and needing my help. It's funny because I never brought our boys to visit him in the hospital, and he never asked to see them. It was only afterwards that we discussed it and found that we both had the same thought; we didn't want our boys to see their big strong daddy in such a state. We both expressed feeling that we wanted our boys to see him as strong and capable; and thought that seeing him sick would scare them and stick with them. For the day and half when his health was up in the air; I've never felt so alone. I also was trying to stay upbeat and take care of myself and the baby. I brought some crocheting with me to keep me occupied and cheerful at his bedside; in fact; it was the blanket you see in the picture above. I crocheted, dreamed of baby, and tried to stay positive. That blanket has special meaning for me now; it is Elvis' BLANKET; the one he sleeps with and goes with us in the car, and every time I see it; it's bittersweet and special. After Elvis was born at the birth center, I couldn't wait to have that moment I dreamed of while crocheting it, joyfully wrapping my baby in it; saying "We made it!". The midwives were very sensitive to my wishes, and wrapped Elvis in it right away as I asked, even though it was July!

I don't think I can ever look at things the same after that experience; I find myself most often very joyful; although my life is far from perfect and have daily worries and struggles like everyone. Sometimes I even feel guilty for being so joyful; how can it be that I am so lucky as to wake up in the morning, under a quilt that I adore, and although getting five children ready and out the door is not easy, and at times makes me grumpy; I know how fortunate I am. I don't have to look ahead to a day at a job I don't want to do; I get to make my own schedule and be with my children. If I decide (as I did last week) to take them all out for Cherry Cokes after school, get home later and throw a simple dinner together before Daddy gets home; I can! Right now in fact, I'm trying to decide whether to work on my mom's reception dress or make more soap; not a bad choice, is it?

I'm grateful that as I get older, I have the maturity and experiences under my belt that make me able to focus on the "good stuff". I'm not always perfect at this, but for the days when I feel "cheerful for no reason"; I am grateful!

Happy Tuesday!

Blogging is a Girl's Best Friend

Thank you all so much for all your well-wishes during my vacation! I'm so happy to be back, we had quite a harrowing experience on the drive in, we ran into both a torrential downpour near Provo, Utah; which when combined with some road work delayed us a bit, and an actual blizzard, which threatened to derail the whole trip! I was driving from outside Salt Lake City, when the rain began to pour. Strangely, there was tons of traffic; couldn't figure out why, because it was 8 pm on a Saturday night! Finally, after white-knuckling the steering wheel for a few hours, the rain became so heavy I couldn't see which lane I was in! I pulled over and switched with James; thank goodness! Shortly thereafter, the rain turned into snow! Semi trucks were creeping along, and we saw lots of cars pulled over and even a huge accident. It was terrifying! We made it safe and sound; albeit with snow covering the bins of clothes on our luggage rack! I didn't get to sleep until 5 am, but James let me sleep late, so I'm reciprocating by letting him snooze for a bit right now.

I feel like I've gained a lot of perspective while I was gone. Although I love my etsy shop and plan to be successful, it's not the be-all and end-all of my life, nor even of my soap career. I think I spent too much time obsessing over it, and feeling like a failure when I didn't perform to my own expectations. I was surprised to find that when I was separated from my computer; what I missed the most was blogging, which I do strictly for my own pleasure; and I hope the enjoyment of others! I was able to do some soul-searching as well, and some of you wonderful followers may have sensed there's more to me than the proud mother and wife I am now. After a lot of considering and thinking, taking into account possible ethical and legal ramifications, I've decided to start another blog; anonymously; which tackles some tough subjects. It will be both darker and more inspirational that this blog, which I love and will continue to do. I felt the need to have it anonymous, in order to avoid either embarrassing or libeling people involved; I still have to consider how best to promote it without connecting it to this blog, or to me personally. Any ideas would be welcome!

I'm now on to working through my huge bins of dirty laundry, and grocery shopping, and I hope; making a nice dinner for my boys and men after so many days of restaurant food! I also lost a crucial part to my sewing machine in the days leading up to our trip, so I have to go about replacing it before I can begin on my new projects, of which I have many! Including, by the way, a wedding dress for my mother, who announced her upcoming marriage in May; and asked me to make her a wedding dress that is not too formal for the beach, and both stylish and age-appropriate. I found a wonderful champagne-colored silk/satin; which will look great with her complexion; and honestly; her figure is more youthful than mine! We even joked that I should pass on my size 4 wedding dress to her; since I have no doubt it would fit her!

Happy Sunday, I hope you all have had a great weekend!

Keep on the Sunny Side of Life

With all the things happening in the world lately, today I was thinking about attitude, expectations and how they've changed in the last, oh; 75 years or so. I mentioned in my profile that I have a lovely next door neighbor, who turned 90 in January. For her privacy's sake, I'll call her Rose. In the nearly seven years we've lived in this house, she has been an inspiration to me. She has occasionally told me stories about her life, and her upbringing, and one of the anecdotes was really eye-opening and inspirational, and I felt I must share some of her wisdom. Rose was born in 1921 in a small town in Idaho. I remember ruefully telling her one day when I was pregnant with Elvis, that I regretted the necessity of having five children in such a small house. She chuckled and said, "There were five children in my family, and we lived in a three room house, not a three bedroom house". Later, I found out that since she was the oldest child, she had the privilege of having a small cot to herself, while her four brothers and sisters all slept in one large bed. She went on to tell me of the story of the day she turned 13; I will attempt to retell it in the spirit with which she shared it with me.:

It was January of 1934; Rose and her brothers and sisters lived in the top floor (probably little more than an attic) of a very small house, which had only a living area and her parent's room downstairs. She didn't share with me the details of the plumbing, but based on the location, a rural state, I'm guessing there was none. It was her thirteenth birthday; and also one of the coldest days in January that anyone could remember. Rose had just received a gift from her aunt; her very first store-bought underwear; at that time, it was common for mothers to make underwear for their children from empty flour sacks; I remember my own Granny telling my mother that when she was a child, all her underwear said "Pillsbury's Best" on them! Rose was so excited by her gift, and at the dinner table, she couldn't wait to show off her gift to her father. She ran upstairs to retrieve the precious gift, and when she got upstairs had the horrifying sight of a burning chimney! She ran downstairs, calling; "Papa, Papa, the chimney is on fire!". As she told me this part of the story, she got a very far-away look in her eyes, as if she could still hear the sounds from that long-ago day, and her father's words, as if he had just spoken. Her father, thinking she was joking, said "Hush, Rose"; but then her mother saw the smoke and, alarmed; called to her father as well. Her father's words were still so fresh to her, I know she was repeating this from memory; he said, "Nell, get the children out!", as he tried in vain to put out the fire. The fire department was called, of course; but because it was such a cold day and the roads were covered in ice (and most likely dirt roads); the fire truck was unable to get to their house. The whole family stood on the side of the road and watched as their house burned to the ground; with Rose's precious gift inside.

Sad story? Yes, but when the story was retold to me, it seemed almost bittersweet to her. Did Rose and her brothers and sisters need therapy to deal with the awful trauma of losing their home? I'm almost positive not. All those decades ago, there was a sense of community support, and also an expectation of people being able to handle things themselves. The thing that most sticks out to me, was that Rose wasn't telling me an awful horror story, it was just another pearl to the story of her life. What she has told me, many times; is how lucky  her family was during the Great Depression, because her father, unlike others, had a steady job; and as she said, "We never went hungry". Although she ruefully remembers the breakfast "schedule", of oatmeal, cornmeal mush, and pancakes; over and over; and that they did not get much fresh fruit, and no sugar. It doesn't seem to have harmed her, however. 

Whenever I speak to her, I'm struck by how much expectations have changed since then, and I wonder; are we better off now? When not being able to buy the type of food you prefer is a hardship, and the fact that you are able to avoid being hungry means nothing? When children expect, not just their own bed, but their own room and often their own TV, Wii, and cell phone? I hope to instill in my children a sense of gratitude for the fact that we have a warm and cozy home, a daddy who comes home safe every night, and almost any food we could desire. And I hope that, should I reach the age of 90, like Rose; I will have her determination and pluck; which led her to recover from a stroke that would have felled a lesser woman, and the sense of fun which prompted her, at the age of 88; to run down the street; simply because someone told her she couldn't!


A little word about my picture; "It Happened One Night" is one of my favorite movies of all time; funny, romantic, and surprisingly current. It also came out the year of my story; 1934; and always makes me think of the era in which my Granny, and Rose grew up.


I know this post is a bit of a departure for me; I hope I haven't bored you to death!

Happy Wednesday!

It's good to be the (consignment) Queen!

Our vacation is fast approaching, so all my boys need some spring/summer things in advance of when I usually buy them. Last weekend, I did the dreaded task of sorting through all my bins in the garage that hold out-of-season and outgrown clothes, so I knew what I already had. I found that strangely enough, one of my children had ten pair of shorts, and one had zero pairs! I made a little mental list of who needed what (Andrew; shorts, Bentley; pajamas, etc) and headed to the consignment shop with Elvis in tow. He insisted on being held, so as I grabbed up clothes as fast as I could, added them to a stack on the counter, then went back for more, I had a little baby trying to grab everything off the shelves! I had store credit, from the last batch of clothes I consigned, so I ended up getting practically everything I need, including hoodies all around and shoes for Andrew; and the big hit of the trip; a Boise State hoodie for a lucky Bentley Jeffrey! I love the little terrycloth beach cover up for baby Elvis! It was only 2.95 and perfect for keeping him warm poolside and at the beach! After my store credit was deducted; I bought 28 items for $47.97! Not bad!

I posted earlier about needing summer sandals for myself, and I went to Payless to look for the shoes I have pictured, tried them on, and found that they were the kind of shoes that slip off your heel continually while walking! No good! So I sort of fell in love with the green wedges with the flower on the toe, and as it turned out, I didn't even need the wide width! I also picked up these blue sandals with a buckle and again, the flower; I couldn't resist these, and I wanted to have some flat sandals for Disneyland in case the wedges prove too high for walking. I love colorful shoes! To me, almost any color goes together; and since I know have a blue pair and a green pair; I can't think of a single color that would clash with both! Payless was having a BOGO sale, so I ended up getting two pairs of shoes for myself and shoes for two of my boys for $60. Not quite consignment prices, but not bad for shoes!

This morning we had the unwelcome surprise of having Callan wake up with a croupy cough; it's been exactly a year since my little Callie scared the daylights out of me and his daddy by developing a life-threatening case of croup, which led to a two day hospitalization and sleepless nights for both of us whenever croup is afoot. Fortunately, the usual remedies helped tremendously, and we're hoping for an uneventful night. We will probably sleep with one ear out for him and clothes laid out for a quick getaway to the hospital if necessary. I've learned that with so many children, sickness is inevitable, and I don't waste a lot of time worrying about what could happen, I'm just thankful we live in a day and age where they have effective treatments and that we live only 5 or 10 minutes from the hospital.

I was thinking about that yesterday, when I was practically shaking with exhaustion at the grocery store, since I'd been up most of the night. I think a person's happiness depends a lot on their level of thankfulness, although I occasionally have bad days, I always know how lucky I am; I've known loneliness and sorrow in my life, but I always knew it was not forever, and the pain had no portion in me; I always could see this life, the one I dreamed about, and knew it would happen. So even though I'm often overwhelmed, and exhausted, and have many things I could spend a lot of time worrying about; I am a content and thankful person. I wish that peace and happiness for everyone.

I have a busy day of laundry today, with hopefully some time to work on my sewing; have a great Sunday!

The Bold and the Beautiful

Maybe I should have titled this post; Beauty and the Beast, because that's the kind of week I've had. I've had an absolutely fabulous week business-wise and have also met some great local etsians; I never thought when I started my silly soap-making plan that I would have actually succeeded at it; I really feel lucky and blessed. I've also gotten to know people I never would've had the opportunity to meet otherwise; I'm making friendships that I know will last a lifetime.

I think I'll address the "Beast" part, before I go back to the loveliness embodied in this picture. This week was a very rough week; family wise. Not my little brood at home, but extended family. I have a very large, opinionated family; and have sometimes felt like the outsider, because I'm one of the few...actually the only, one who believes in God and is religious. And for some other reasons, but that's the primary one. It doesn't bother me at all for someone to be an atheist, why would it? I often laugh when people are upset at someone for not doing something; like, "I am insane with anger because you didn't go to the movies!". I'm always painstakingly careful not to bring up God or religion, or the fact that we are not vegetarians, because I don't want to insult my family's lifestyle (or anyone's). I'm not one of those preachy types; and I'm sure people who know me even fairly well are kept guessing about the more controversial points of my life. But many of my family members openly disdain everything that makes me..me. I've dealt with my share of outrage about the number of children I choose to have, or us not celebrating holidays, or the fact that our house is too small or that I never went to college. Or the names of my children; yes; several family members made it very clear that they viewed my choice of names for my wonderful boys to be practically criminal. Their names are, by the way: Andrew, Bentley, Callan, Dorian, and Elvis. And they are beautiful, meaningful names! Ok, off my soapbox about that. I have somehow, despite my caution, managed to convey the impression that I have a problem with people who are vegetarians; I honestly cannot imagine how that happened. It was really hearbreaking for me to realize that no matter how hard I tried, I was never going to be acceptable to my extended family, and for my own well-being and sanity; it's necessary for me to disconnect from them. I've been through a lot with my siblings, we've come through some bad stuff together, but even with them, I seem to be constantly offending and offensive; and this while I'm putting a great deal of effort into not doing so. I've apologized, backtracked, soothed ruffled feathers....and finally snapped. I'm not proud of it, but I managed to be quite snarky and rude to many of them. So be it. We just don't bring out the best in each other, and that's why it's best to take a break from them. All of this has a point, it really does! So after dealing with all the yucky family stuff yesterday, I came home today to the most wonderful present. The perfume I had custom blended for me by Stacy at Mermaid Lane Perfume. It was like a soothing voice in a room full of shouting; when I opened the box, I actually cried. For a time when I was feeling very battered emotionally, the thought that someone put so much care and love into something for me was beyond words. She also included a very welcome extra

A wonderful bottle of her body/massage oil; with the most awesome scent; rose and lavender; my favorite! I had told her our anniversary was coming up, and this was her gift to us. So kind! I also just had to take a picture of the perfume bottle and it's lovely satin pouch; so beautiful! Such a precious little bottle, I feel like it contains my essence, who I am. I know I will treasure it for years to come. Being a mama with so many boys, I have very few things which are just mine and it is so very important to have that to hold onto, so that I don't become so immersed in them that I lose who I am.

So this week, I was bold, not so beautiful, and then beautiful again. I'm sorry for such a melancholy post; it's really not characteristic of me; perhaps the late hours and the family issues have taken their toll on me. But as they say it's hard to keep a good (bad?) woman down; I'm sure if I get a good night's sleep...if...if...if...I'll be back to my annoyingly energetic self!

Wednesday already! Have a great rest of the Wednesday; and a great Thursday!

Can I?

Wow, what a week! A week in which all my plans have gone awry in some way or another, a week in which I had all sorts of plans to stay up as late as necessary...and instead ended up crashing immediately after the boys went to bed! I now have the daunting prospect of a huge vacation to plan for, and I'm in the horrible stage where it's too soon to do some serious packing, but I have terrible packing anxiety because I'm afraid that once it comes time to pack; I'll suddenly realize it can't be done. Yes, that's my fear; that is actually can't be done; I mean; whoever said it was possible to take five children several states away, in a car that seats the amount of people we have, for a week. A week. I'm now wondering how few things I can get away with bringing. They have clothes and baby food and diapers and shoes and toys in California, right? I can just imagine myself, though; in some seedy laundromat in Southern California, frantically doing laundry before I get mugged. However, I believe they do have laundry facility at both hotels we're staying at; including the rather posh Disneyland hotel. My other fear involves the rash plans I made to make my clothes for the trip. Will I ever learn? Probably not. I have my bathing suit about halfway done; and I've made the decision to only do the "must have" items, like the bathing suit and a wrap skirt, which should be quick (no, I'll never learn). The rest will just have to go into the ether until later in the year. I have lots of soap projects that I'm behind in; which leads me to my other concern: putting my shop in vacation mode or not? It's not as though I'm getting daily orders, so I think I'll just take my laptop and do such work as I can in the evenings; (here I go again!); and just tell any customers that I may (or may not) have that all shipping will be done once I get back.

I'm hoping (as always) to get plenty of work done tonight, and to really buckle down; including going through the dreaded bins of boys' clothing, and consigning all the items I have saved up to consign. I probably will need to buy quite a few summery items for all the boys and for James; and most likely will need to fill in deficiencies in my wardrobe as well.

Can you tell I'm worried and stressed? I feel rather ramble-y tonight; I'll just keep repeating to myself, "I think I can, I think I can, I think...."

Homemaking; Fifty Years Later...

"If you're tired from overwork, household chores you're bound to shirk.

Read these pointers, tried and true

And discover what to do" ~ From the Betty Crocker Cookbook, 1951 edition

When I first bought the book from which this advice originates; I was amazed by the matter-of-fact assumption that a woman would aspire to do this very underrated job: make a home. All the directions and advice were geared directly toward women; because of course in 1951, the home was the woman's domain. There was no shame in it, no pressure for a woman to come up with gourmet meals and climb the corporate ladder at the same time. The cookbooks were written with the homemaker in mind; with tips from start to finish on stretching that grocery budget, keeping meals nutritious, colorful and interesting, and curiously for a cookbook, tips for the woman on staying healthy and keeping her spirits up. Feminists everywhere faint in horror; but as a homemaker myself, I find the treatment of that hardworking homemaker charming and sweet. In addition, I've found that the advice is surprisingly practical and ageless. Some of the menu plans are a little quaint; that is to say, I've never served this on "Some Sunday Night"...or ever!:

Welsh Rarebit with
Tomato Slices, Anchovies, and Gherkins
Chilled Pears
Chocolate Cupcakes
Coffee, Milk, or Tea

I do think it would be fun to try out some of these menus, get a real "flavor" from the past! (perhaps another project to undertake?)

Can I just start over today?

I woke up this morning feeling very excited about the week ahead, and wanting a "do-over". We had several not-so-great things happen this weekend, along with a very sad thing; which of course, made me sad; but also impressed on me the preciousness of life and the importance of living every day, not just to its fullest, but living up to our best self every day. I feel that I haven't been doing that lately, that although I have been waking up every morning giving it my all, there are several very important areas that I have fallen down quite severely in. I hope that all the yucky things that made this weekend, well, not great; will be a catalyst for improving those areas. I'm determined to make this week better, by being more present and patient for my children, and making my currently messy house neat and peaceful. I also need to take better care of myself, allowing myself the time to; imagine this...sit down?! In that spirit, I will be posting some items and pictures today, on a much lighter note, I promise! Ok, now that I'm done being Debbie Downer, onward and upward!