After having five children; three of them with no pain medicine whatsoever; I thought I was pretty good with pain. More than good; I thought that I had pain's NUMBER. I would always say, when people asked me why on earth I would give birth to ten pound babies on an antique bed in the North End with no doctors or IV's in sight, "It's only pain, it can't hurt you". I've always been a basically healthy person, used to being able to push myself beyond what most people would consider wise; getting little sleep for days and weeks at a time was normal for me. Caffeine? Yes, please! I drank coffee and energy drinks like water, which I DIDN'T drink enough of. I'm a person who thrived on being busy and productive; and I thought it would always be easy for me.
Until a few weeks ago; when my high-octane lifestyle went kaput. I've always had headaches; some worse than others, a few even severe, but none that reduced me to the serial-puking person that couldn't even lift her head off the pillow and didn't give a flip about returning e-mails. I thought it was a brief glitch in my wiring; and went back to my "normal" routine; until I was felled with another migraine; this one worse; and so scary I ended up in the hospital getting a CT scan one fine morning at 6am. I'm claustrophobic, terribly. But I didn't even care that I was in a tube with no way out; that's how "out of it" I was. In 12 years of marriage and lots of pregnancies; James had actually never witnessed me throwing up; except for once when I was so pregnant I couldn't get to the bathroom in time (mortifying); but last Friday I was in the humbling position of throwing up in front of the hospital with a nurse AND James and whoever else watching. After that; I came home and went to bed; and knew NOTHING else that day. I've always had an "thing" with time; and wasting it; but I let a whole day and a half go by without knowing or caring what was happening; or where my children were, were they eating? Did they go to school? I knew not.
I must admit; it's been scary to feel so out of control of my own body and life; I've had many days the past few weeks when I've wondered if I'll ever get back to feeling like "myself", or whether I would have to drastically change my life so that all the things I've worked so hard for would have to go by the wayside. It's been a hard few weeks. Today while I was driving to my acupuncture appointment I was remembering the last time I was there; when my only health "concern" was an overdue baby Elvis. How laughable that seems now! How little did I realize that the few hours of intense pain followed by the birth of a baby is NOTHING compared to the earth shattering and unchanging pain of a migraine; that reduces you to a being that cares about nothing except getting relief; where all your hopes and desires go down the drain. After seeing my doctor; he seemed convinced that my relatively recent lack of sleep, coupled with stress and my propensity with getting headaches normally; compounded by my anxiety over getting more migraines; led to more migraines. So, armed with a prescription for migraine medicine; and some recommendations for a few lifestyle changes; hopefully will rid me of this awful affliction. Just knowing that there's nothing seriously wrong with me has helped a bit, and I'm hoping that making positive changes to my life will be enough; I don't like to be tethered to medication, and I'm hoping it's just a stop-gap method until I get my strength back.
"As God is my witness, I'll never have a headache again!'
Until a few weeks ago; when my high-octane lifestyle went kaput. I've always had headaches; some worse than others, a few even severe, but none that reduced me to the serial-puking person that couldn't even lift her head off the pillow and didn't give a flip about returning e-mails. I thought it was a brief glitch in my wiring; and went back to my "normal" routine; until I was felled with another migraine; this one worse; and so scary I ended up in the hospital getting a CT scan one fine morning at 6am. I'm claustrophobic, terribly. But I didn't even care that I was in a tube with no way out; that's how "out of it" I was. In 12 years of marriage and lots of pregnancies; James had actually never witnessed me throwing up; except for once when I was so pregnant I couldn't get to the bathroom in time (mortifying); but last Friday I was in the humbling position of throwing up in front of the hospital with a nurse AND James and whoever else watching. After that; I came home and went to bed; and knew NOTHING else that day. I've always had an "thing" with time; and wasting it; but I let a whole day and a half go by without knowing or caring what was happening; or where my children were, were they eating? Did they go to school? I knew not.
I must admit; it's been scary to feel so out of control of my own body and life; I've had many days the past few weeks when I've wondered if I'll ever get back to feeling like "myself", or whether I would have to drastically change my life so that all the things I've worked so hard for would have to go by the wayside. It's been a hard few weeks. Today while I was driving to my acupuncture appointment I was remembering the last time I was there; when my only health "concern" was an overdue baby Elvis. How laughable that seems now! How little did I realize that the few hours of intense pain followed by the birth of a baby is NOTHING compared to the earth shattering and unchanging pain of a migraine; that reduces you to a being that cares about nothing except getting relief; where all your hopes and desires go down the drain. After seeing my doctor; he seemed convinced that my relatively recent lack of sleep, coupled with stress and my propensity with getting headaches normally; compounded by my anxiety over getting more migraines; led to more migraines. So, armed with a prescription for migraine medicine; and some recommendations for a few lifestyle changes; hopefully will rid me of this awful affliction. Just knowing that there's nothing seriously wrong with me has helped a bit, and I'm hoping that making positive changes to my life will be enough; I don't like to be tethered to medication, and I'm hoping it's just a stop-gap method until I get my strength back.
"As God is my witness, I'll never have a headache again!'
Headaches are SO hard to deal with, especially migraines. People that don't have them have no understanding of how debilitating they can be. I've lost more days that I'd like to count to the pain/vomiting.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that you had such a doozy of one but am glad that there is nothing dangerously wrong that is causing them. Hopefully the minor lifestyle changes and the new meds help keep them at bay.